Know Your Joe: Meet Tripwire
by Red Witch
Summary: Quick Kick and Short Fuse interview everyone's favorite mine detector! Actually he's their only mine detector...


**I don't own any GI Joe characters. I admit it. Well despite popular appeal I thought I'd go and try another fun interview fic. Well I find them fun. **

**Know Your Joe: Meet Tripwire**

"Isn't there anything on TV?" Lady Jaye asked.

"Nope," Alpine sighed. "Just reruns of reruns."

"I hate that," Dial Tone moaned.

Then the TV crackled to a new station. "Greetings fellow Joes!" Quick Kick waved from the screen.

"It's time once again for Know Your Joe!" Short Fuse said happily. 

"They're doing this again?" Lady Jaye asked. "Okay who forgot to pay 'em?" 

"All right let's bring out our guest who will really make sure this show goes out with a bang," Quick Kick said. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeree's Tripwire!"

Tripwire walked out waving. Then he fell over some wires and knocked over a few chairs. He managed to get his balance long enough to accidentally step on Short Fuse's toes and fell on top of him. "Tripwire! AGGGGGHHH!" Short Fuse yelled as his chair fell backwards onto some more wires, which quickly entangled the both of them.

"I'm okay…" Tripwire said weakly. 

"Who says reality TV isn't entertaining?" Sci Fi said. 

Soon they got untangled. "Sorry about that," Tripwire gulped. "I'm a bit nervous." 

"You okay man?" Quick Kick asked. "You look like you're about to hyperventilate."

"Y-yeah I'm fine," Tripwire said nervously. 

"I'm okay too! Thanks for asking!" Short Fuse snapped. 

"Calm down SF," Quick Kick said. "Uh Tripwire?"

Tripwire was panting. "I'm…okay…just…being…nervous….about (wheeze!) being on TV! (Gasp!)" 

"Here have a paper bag," Short Fuse handed him one. "Just breathe in and out, in and out…that's a good boy." He patted him on the back. 

"In case you've forgotten Tripwire is our demolitions expert," Quick Kick said simply. "He's in charge of getting rid of land mines." 

"And we feel so much safer with him on our team," Low Light groaned. 

"I'm okay now," Tripwire calmed down. "You can ask away." 

"Alright, so your real name is Tormond Skoog," Short Fuse looked at the paper. "That's quite an unusual name you got there. What the heck does the name Tormond mean?"

"I'm not really sure," Tripwire said. "But I think it's old Anglo Saxon for 'Kid Who Gets Beat Up a Lot At School'. Certainly true in my case." 

"Now it also says that your dad was a career Navy man is that right?" Quick Kick said.

"Oh yes," Tripwire said. "We ended up travelling all over the world. We were stationed on so many bases. I remember when I was sixteen we went to live in Norway, and then England, and then France and then we went to a few bases in Africa then Australia and finally Japan."

"That many in one year?" Short Fuse asked. "Didn't give you much time for making a lot of friends."

"No but I made quite a few enemies," Tripwire said. "Let's just say I was always a clumsy kid and there were…incidents."

"What kind of incidents?" Short Fuse asked.

"Well when I was in Japan I decided to make a model of a nuclear engine for a science fair," Tripwire said. "An actual working model to be precise."

"Interesting, how did you power it?" Quick Kick asked.

"With plutonium what else?" Tripwire said. "I told you it was an actual working model! But those judges and teachers were so picky! I mean the safety was on! Well it was when I last checked! Now if they only were more careful with the wiring of the school electrical system…"

"Oh man I get the picture," Quick Kick moaned. "You ended up recreating Three Mile Island didn't you?"

"More like Three Minute Island actually," Tripwire said. "But nobody got seriously hurt. So there was a few holes in the wall? Big deal! And there wasn't any actual radiation leak. Well not much of one anyway to do any significant damage."

"Yeah," Short Fuse looked at him. "I think I'm beginning to understand why your dad was transferred so much. So I take that pretty much ended your high school career?" 

"Yeah I ended up dropping out of school," Tripwire said. "I was gonna get expelled anyway so…"

"Okay so what happened next?" Short Fuse asked.

"Yeah did your dad try to get you to join the Navy or something?" Quick Kick asked. 

"No actually he made it very clear that he didn't want me anywhere near the Navy, ever," Tripwire said. "He even gave me fifty thousand dollars not to join."

"Wow, that's a lot of money!" Short Fuse whistled. "So that's when you joined the army?"

"No that's when I bought a Porsche," Tripwire said. "I was going to drive all around Japan and Asia. Well at least that was the plan before I had an accident. You would not think there would be a forty car pile up in some remote part of Japan where they barely even have roads but I have the permanent record to prove it."

"Well this explains why you never drive anywhere," Quick Kick said. "Or why anybody lets you behind the wheel of a car." 

"Fortunately where I crashed was right outside a Zen monastery," Tripwire said. "I figured now was the time to find inner peace and enlightenment. Especially since now all my cash was gone. I mean I didn't have any material things so that was already a step in the right direction." 

"Good point," Short Fuse nodded. 

"So you actually studied Zen in a monastery?" Quick Kick asked.

"Yup went the whole route, shaved my head and put on the orange pajamas and everything," Tripwire said. "I spent two years there searching for the purpose of my existence. Two wonderful semi blissful years before I left."

"Oh you found enlightenment that fast?" Short Fuse asked.

"No…I was kind of asked to leave," Tripwire admitted. 

"They kicked you out huh?" Short Fuse sighed. "Why?" 

"Well you see in those two years I broke every single dish in the entire place as well as spilled every conceivable liquid. And I mean everything," Tripwire admitted. "And there were a few incidents with fire. And there was this one incident with this huge bolder and a few toes and a wall I really don't want to get into. You would think monks would be more tolerant and not so touchy, yeesh! And I soon found out that their belief in non-violence was total baloney! Holy men right! Holy hypocrites is more like it! I've got the scars to prove it!" 

"Yeah that sounds pretty much like his track record all right," Shipwreck sighed. 

"So I finally decided to come home," Tripwire continued. "My dad was really thrilled to see me though. As soon as I walked into the house he started crying. Come to think of it he didn't stop crying for two whole days." 

"I don't blame him," Low Light said. 

"Well after a while I joined the army," Tripwire said. "My dad was so happy. He threw a big going away party in what was left of the backyard and everything."

"What was left of the backyard?" Quick Kick blanched.

"Yeah I tried a few experiments with home business and stuff," Tripwire said. "Don't ask. I've been specifically asked by the courts not to reveal any of the details." 

"O-kay," Short Fuse gulped. 

"But joining the army was the greatest thing that ever happened to me!" Tripwire said. "For once in my life I found peace and happiness! I achieved enlightenment within in two weeks!"

"Enlightenment?" Quick Kick asked. "Really? Where?"

"On the grenade range. That was when it hit me!" Tripwire told them. 

"What shrapnel?" Short Fuse asked.

"Besides that," Tripwire said. "I decided to go work in the Explosive Ordinance Unit. I learned how to handle any type of detonators, bombs, explosives, ignition initiators and blasting machines. To this day the only time I've ever felt really calm and comfortable when there is a ticking bomb in front of me. Knowing that people's lives are in my hands really makes me feel relaxed."

"Interesting," Quick Kick said. "Because knowing that our lives are in your hands when you work on a bomb gives us the opposite feeling." 

"Look I'll show you what I mean," Tripwire took out a small device. "I brought a bomb to demonstrate…" 

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Quick Kick shouted as he grabbed the bomb and threw it away. 

BOOOM! 

"Well there goes another wall," Low Light sighed. 

Onscreen Quick Kick, Short Fuse and Tripwire were standing slightly singed. "Well this is Quick Kick signing off for Know Your Joe. And I think we've all learned something today."

"Yeah," Low Light sighed. "We learned that reruns aren't that bad. 

****

Okay folks if you want to see any more interviews, just let me know! I'm taking requests!

Low Light: Would you like to hear **my** request? It involves a mallet and some iron stakes! 


End file.
